Summer of Self Love ’17 | NYC Log #5

The month of May was a mentally exhausting month. After just two months in NYC, I found myself becoming very homesick. Well I at least assumed that what I was feeling was homesickness. This is my first time being away from my home state for this long period of time so everything about this experience and how I’ve been feeling is very new to me.

I started having these weird anxiety attacks where I felt almost disconnected from my body. I started becoming hyper aware of my thoughts and the surrounding energies to the point that it was overwhelming me. I found myself having a hard to breathing comfortably probably because I was subconsciously trying to regain the control that I felt that I was losing.

It was a very strange and uncomfortable experience, but oddly enough those weird anxiety attacks kinda helped me truly understand energies in a way that I didn’t before. I found a deeper understanding and appreciation for meditation. I learned all about grounding myself as well as managing and protecting myself from outside energies.

I even ended the war against myself and started learning how to become a better friend to me. I have always been quick to research and own a title that defines what is wrong with me while neglecting to claim a title that defines what is right with me. So I’m shining the light on all that is good about me and feeling myself up with so much love and self-adoration that my cup runneth over.

When June came, I decided to take a week off from my regular job and allow myself some time to recenter, recharge and restock for round two. June has been all about better understanding my passions and redefining my focus. As a creative, there’s so much that I want to do and accomplish that I sometimes overwhelm myself with unreasonable to do lists and I wind up getting nothing done in the process. So I’m learning the art of minimizing and focusing on mastering one thing at a time.

Now that July is here, I am prepared for the next round. I am a solider of love and New York City is the behemoth that I have come to slay! Don’t believe me? Just watch!
*cue Bruno Mar “Uptown Funk”*

 video games fighting battle intense final fantasy x GIF

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